Prenatal Class: Day Three

I am me. I am enough.

Day three was a doozy. I’ve let more time lapse between the class and reflecting on it than I would have liked. For this one though, that might not be such a bad thing. A little distance will give me more objectivity.

We began the evening by learning about, and practicing, ovarian/circular breathing. In short: inhale, beginning in your perineum/testes, allowing your breath to travel up your spine and stop at the top of your head, tracing carefully over all curves (especially of the spinal chord) and taking time to recognize your body; exhale, moving your breath over your face, chest, belly, and back into your pelvis.

After we went through a few ice contractions doing this alone, the couples of the room stood up to practice some together time with this breathing technique. Instead of holding ice in her hand for these “contractions,” Mama put one foot on the ice (at a time) and then got into ovarian breathing. At that time, Dad matched breath with her, and then traced her breathing: up her spine from her lower back, hovering over her hairline and then down her face (because no one wants to be touched up their hair and down their face), and then over her chest and onto her belly. It was beautiful to watch (and truly, I only did for fleeting moments, because these couples needed their time to be with each other, they did not need me observing them so clinically).  The couples were connected and, as always, to see Dad so involved in watching and helping his partner is outstanding to me. It makes a world of difference to have a connected birth team.

We then shifted gears and started talking about hormones, both in pregnancy and in labour and birth. Oxytocin, prostaglandin, endorphins, adrenaline, prolactin, and even pitocin.

The reason I needed some space from this class, between experiencing it and writing about it, is because we ended the evening with a conversation about birth tigers. Birthing From Within (England) expressed that “no mother can give birth if she feels unsafe or senses danger” (p118) and “if your personal imagery triggers excessive fear during pregnancy, you may never go into labour” (p118). The same can be said about being in labour, a great deal can slow down, or sometimes stop almost completely, if you feel paralyzing fear.

So, our doula asked the group to consider our birth tigers, the fears that plague us. The things we skip over in books, or linger too long on. The things that get our blood pumping and kick our fight or flight into gear. Needles, cesarean births, postpartum depression, and not getting to the hospital on time were all mentioned. (My tiger was a postpartum event. It was also surprisingly strong. I may have cried. It was ugly.) It was what we did with our tigers that was useful. (Another real life application of Birthing From Within prenatal class.)

Our instructor had us face the tiger head on. We imagined our scenarios (or memories) in all of their nitty-gritty detail. We allowed the scene to play out, no matter how painful. Then it slipped away, into a fog, and we crossed away from it. From there, we came to an understanding. We left behind useless mantras like “you’re not good enough,” “you’re weak,” or “you can’t do this,” and we came to something stronger and more important.

I am me. I am enough. 

After that, we faced our tiger again. It was surprising (to me) how much sting was taken out of the very same scenario, only moments later. No lie, when I envisioned it, this time what was being said did not wash over or through me, it split apart and washed around me in two waves. It couldn’t hurt me. It was no longer relevant to my life and my understanding of myself.

This realization is the welcoming of your hunter/huntress, your protector. It is understanding that you can do this, you are enough, you have the tools, you can own it. (Life, not just birth.) This ushers you away from a victim mentality and it is a beautiful thing.

I do so love me some Birthing From Within.

Norah Jones – Feelin’ The Same Way

UNT.